At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
