I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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