do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
