Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
