Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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