White coat. Heels.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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