She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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