Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize