Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
