im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
