my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
