between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize