I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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