Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
