I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
