he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
