First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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