420 ftw
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
