I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
