He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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