She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
