I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
