no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
