i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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