Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize