So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
