We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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