Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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