When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize