Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just google imaged poop.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize