He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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