I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Randomize
