If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
