Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
