...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Betty ford says i'm here all night
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
