I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
