I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
