your parents love me but you hate me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
