I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
