she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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