Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
