I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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