i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
