If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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