Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
