I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
