he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
