A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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