If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
