Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
