Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
