too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
