I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
a search helicopter?!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
