She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dear god my vagina.
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