This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
