What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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