She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
