arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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