I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
