my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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