Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize