Jerry, you need to find god
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
