It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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