I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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