I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
