I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
